New Year

Its been a while. . .

New Years resolutions:
1. Eat better, and more well rounded meals
2. Run and ride my bike more
3. Graduate and get a big boy job

A sweet, sweet sound

New season is underway. . .played four games so far, and lost all four by 10 pts or more. . .our last lost by 49 pts. . .ouch. Being a senior is hard these days. You feel like you work your tail off to get where you want to be, but then you find that you are further and further from your goals than you wanted, hoped, planed to be. . .for the last three years, I have tried to shut my mouth, see, listen, and take in as much as I can to better my game. . .summer work outs, weights, countless shots. . .all to try and get a little bit better. Year after year, hard work - year after year, more and more obstacles and challenges in my way. . .

I find myself asking myself, "How do I overcome this one. . ."

The Abolition of Fear

This grips my every breath, a feeling so unclean. . .
As if my life is closing in, and my heart is stuck in between.

Alone and empty, with nothing left to hold.
Reality is warped and changed, leaving me shackled in the cold.

I need you, I need you. . .

Then, the light, it comes!
With rays more powerful than the sun!
I breath the warming breeze,
As it lifts me from my knees!

My eyes begin to open, I am wrapped in wings of truth!
The chains of fear fall to the ground, standing free with you!

You consume me, you consume me. . .

I lift my voice, let the heavens trumpets sound!
My trust in you was once lost, but now it has been found!

Glory

Let your glory fall Lord, let it fall on us like rain!
Let the rain wash us, let it wash away the pain!
And leave us standing here a-new,
Bathed in righteousness, singing glory to you!

I rest in prayer, my entire being yours.
Then the silence fades. . .
I breath you in, comfort. . .
I feel you surround me. . .
You grasp me and hold me close. . .
Father, mold me like clay, as you whisper worthy. . .
Fill me! Let my soul overflow. . .
My shadow plays on the ground as my heart dances at your feet. . .

Let your glory fall Lord, let it fall on us like rain!
Let the rain wash us, let it wash away the pain!
And leave us standing here a-new,
Bathed in righteousness, singing glory to you!

like butter over fresh toast

We will go marching.
not like ants, one by one or two by two. . .
but like soldiers. . .yea, any army.
We will go marching like soldiers for a cause.
And our cadence will never slow or stop,
but it will be swift, and our numbers will grow.
We will go marching.

We will march from street corner to street corner,
only to spread the kingdom, like butter over fresh toast.
We march to shower the streets with joy.
We will go marching.

Morning, noon, night.
Dawn, Dusk.
Hot, cold, soaking wet, or bone dry. . .
We will march on.

We will go marching from downtown to uptown.
School to school, house to house.
We will march for grace shown by a smile, and love given by a word.

We will go marching.
We will go marching until this city is yours!
Make us all generals, in this army of light. . .
We will go marching.

You overflow our hearts, like tears in our eyes!

Our souls listen, whisper to us.
We close our eyes and hear the silence fade.
Hopes, and dreams, we long for your embrace. . .

Spirit, rain on us with joy.
Fan the fire wild in our hearts.
Make us holy instruments, use us as you please.
Authority and power through your gifts selflessly given. . .

Hands lifted high, praise to the father.
Jesus in our hearts, send us to our knees.
Blanket Us with Love, oh Spirit fall on us. . .

Crying for The Kingdom, Lord let it come!
Let us be your hands and feet, Lord let your will be done!
The one pure truth, over a thousand lies!
You overflow our hearts, like tears in our eyes!




I don't know why i wrote this, just came to me. . .

When a chapter closes, another opens. . .

So, the basic outline of my testimony. . .idk, just felt like it

So, tomorrow is the day that I sign my lease papers to my new townhouse. . .YESSSS! NO MOEW DORMS!! Josh, Dwight, Micah, and Danny. . .all moving out to get a preview of "real life after school." Or something like that. . .lol

As I was thinking about the move, I began to reflect on how different I am now the I was at this time three years ago. . .two years ago. . .and one year ago. . .The memories of all the chapters in the last few years hit me like a bag of bricks in the face. . .

Three years ago, I was a cool guy. Big, bad, cocky, college freshman. . .I was coming up to Simpson to play basketball, flirt with girls, live life away from my parents, and maybe go to class if there was time. . .Did I mention I was a cool guy? Throughout that year my self image change and my attitude shifted. . .Tall-tees, big baggy jeans, white kicks. . .i was BALLIN! I was a cool guy. . .and no one could tell me anything different. . .I got me a girlfriend, built a network of friends. . .I was rollin. . .I would soon find that only a few of these relationships were based on "the right" type of foundations. . .I hated class, especially the bible classes that I thought they tried to ram down my throat. . .I didnt want anything to do with God, or Jesus. . .I just wanted to listen to 2-pac and shoot some hoops. . .needless to say, I had a rough year. . .

Two years ago, I was a cool guy, but I had a year under my belt. My self ego and Image had matured a small amount, I knew the ropes, I knew what worked and what didn't when it came to beating the system. . .people knew me, I knew people. I was playing well, and was a captain of my team. . .but it didn't take long for my sandy foundation wash out from under my feet. . .I broke up with my girlfriend, started playing below my capability, started to hate my classes even more. . .my world was in a tail-spin. . .Then came church. I started going to church, reading my bible a little bit, and changing my outlook on life. The more i prayed and talked to God, the more light seemed to shine on me. Things got good. . .so I felt good. Slowly, I started to do the same things that I had been, and I started to lay sand on the the sturdy stones that was my foundation. Soon after came the wonderful world of underage drinking. . .What started as a few people just hanging out one Friday night rapidly turned into a
dark spiral of girls, booze, headaches, and regrets. I would seem to pull my self up and rise out of that hole, but I would just fall right back down. . .and land hard! I would want to fight those who I hold most dear, I hated people, including myself, I was not a cool guy. . . I hurt people, I hut myself. . .slowly, the pain was numbed, and seemed to level out. . .

One year ago, I was a cool guy, but I didn't want to be. . .school just started back up, I was a junior. . .people had came back, some saw who I had become. . .some thought it was cool. . .other were not so impressed. . .I couldn't tell you what it was, but something up in my head just clicked. I wanted out of the spiral! I was done with all of the crap. . .I wanted to breath easy. Stared to read more of my bible, and go back to church. I had to do a mandatory Internship for school, "ministry practicum." I signed up to help out at The Stirring. I was going to help in the media section and help with other things like set-up and tear-down. I started to meet with guys like D-fleck, Chris, Casey, and had a few small talks with Matt Klutz. . .small, insignificant interactions to them, im sure, but they meant a lot to me. . .God was in the process of grabbing me. All at the same time, I met Chelsea. She saw me for me, who i could be, and who I wanted to be. . .she has been nothing but an encouragement and a light.

This last six months. . .wow. That is all I can say. I am more involved in church. . .am surrounded by amazing people of God. . .In 2 life groups. . .Had the privilege to walk with Matt (who has had a profound influence on my life). . .

I am looking forward to this next year of life. . .as a new chapter begins, I can only imagin what God has in store for me and my life. . .God has my heart, the spirit dwells in me, and Jesus is everything. . .I have seen this before in my life, but I soon forgot. . .And I dont want to forget ever again.